-JR-

Well, If I didnt get a $hit ton of b.s. from my friends for having a “love” category on this blog.  Now I hit you with some results of what I have found to be the best online dating sites. In my defense: I am a 30 yr old entrepreneur that barely has time to eat a meal.  Owning a micro management consulting firm and heavily involved in the club/music industry.  I just dont have the time to waste these days.

The winner is Match.com in 1st &  eHarmony in 2nd.

Time to sign up for both and give you an indepth look at their programing behind their multi million dollar marketing campaigns.

NOTE: When it comes to price for a service like this, I dont think anyone should complain about paying for the best ROI of your life. So fork up a few bucks chump!

====  USEFUL REVIEWS I FOUND====

PlentyofFish.com

Price: Free.

Users per month*: 2.75 million.

Registration time: 12.5 minutes.

Pros: Costs nothing; easy to use; has a huge pool of people to flirt and connect with; boasts 120,000 marriages a year.

Cons: Distorted or fuzzy images; unattractive website.

Since this is a free site, I’m going to the big players on this service. Since pay sites are constantly getting capitol from their user’s to invest in new programing/technology.

Match.com

Price: $30 per month.

Users per month*: 2.75 million.

Registration time: 15 minutes.

Pros: Simple to navigate; finds matches based on keyword descriptions; provides apps for smartphones.

Cons: Poor screening techniques.

Positive Features

• Newly upgraded site (Dec 2008) has a much easier flow and not as busy as old design. The colors are not as dark.
• A first in the dating world, a Make Love Happen Guarantee. Read below in Costs for more details
• Keyword search on member’s profiles (called matchWords).
• Very large online dating service (maybe the largest general orinented dating site on the internet).
• Allowed to remove singles from your search results.
• Find out when your match reads the email you sent them with Email Read Notification.
• Customer Care available 7 days a week from 8:00am to 8:00pm CST – 1 (866) 962-8244

Negative Features

• To many ads are shown on the site about there other ventures. – UPDATE – They have greatly reduced this with their new update (Jan, 2007)
• New customer service hours. Match.com customer service is only open Monday through Friday, 8 AM to 8 PM CST. Their site is easy to use and has a great online help system but for people really new to the internet, they may need some live support. Since most of us use these dating sites after work and on weekends I am not sure what they were thinking here.

REVIEW 1 – With over 15 million subscribers, Match.com is the largest dating site catering to a diverse population. Reviews praise it for ease of use and excellent search options; however, the site doesn’t offer automated matching based on any scientific approach. You can search and browse for free, but you must subscribe for one month or longer to send or reply to emails. Match.com experts help you create a profile, which can include up to 26 photos, video and a voice greeting. The site offers mobile access, but you must pay an additional fee and subscribe for at least six months.

REVIEW 2

Editors of DatingSitesReviews.com provide overviews, pros and cons, and fees for more than 50 online dating sites. For the third year in a row, Match.com is the editors’ top pick overall in 2009. Editors primarily base this award on popularity and the website’s new mobile application. Readers also get the opportunity to vote on their favorite fee-based and free online dating sites. For 2009, Match.com wins in the fee-based category with 201 votes, representing almost 30 percent of respondents. EHarmony takes second place with 153 votes. The top choice for free online dating website is PlentyOfFish.com, which earns one-third of the votes. This site also has articles about dating and the online dating industry.

REVIEW 3

Our Assessment Online dating industry professionals vote on their favorite dating site in 11 categories. We don’t know how many votes were cast. Match.com is named the best dating site and also earns honors for site design. Zoosk.com is named best mobile dating site and best up-and-coming dating site.

True.com

Price: $50 a month.

Users per month*: 2.5 million people.

Registration time: 10 minutes.

Pros: Safer than some sites, since members must submit to a background check; has a fun, flirty environment.

Cons: Tacky advertisements.

Positive Features

• Every True.com member is screened against one of the largest criminal records databases on the Internet before they are allowed to communicate with other members. They are looking for felony offenses.
• Member’s marital status is checked against public records.
• Free Trial for 7 days which is extended for another 30 days if you upload a photo.

Negative Features

• More and more dating services seem to be displaying ads on their web sites and True.com is no exception. At least there are not a lot of ads listed and the ads are integrated into the site so they are not obtrusive.
• Some member complaints of difficulties in deactivating their True account.

EHarmony.com

Price: $60 a month.

Users per month*: 1.75 million.

Registration time: 25 minutes.

Pros: They do the matching for you, based on a detailed questionnaire; an advice section with expert and member tips.

Cons: Generic profiles; more expensive than other sites.

Positive Features

• Very detailed matching model based on 29 key dimensions that predict relationship success as well as examines 10 areas vital to your happiness and a fulfilling marriage.
• For men who are serious about a relationship eHarmony is one of the few sites that have a fair number more women then men.
• No more endless searching. You are shown just the members that match your profile.

Negative Features

• One of the more expensive dating sites.
• This point can be a positive or a negative depending on the person: They present to you the matches based on your profile you created, you can’t perform your own searches.
• You can only communicate with other single members who have paid for a subscription.

REVIEW 1

If you prefer a guided approach to dating rather than searching through online profiles on your own, eHarmony touts its 29 “dimensions of compatibility” to match singles that have the potential for a successful long-term relationship. This information is collected through a time-consuming questionnaire containing 256 questions. After signing up for a subscription ranging from one month to a year, the site encourages members to follow a guided communication process that uses multiple-choice questions to break the ice. Certain features like anonymous phone calls require paying an additional fee. Although the site’s claim to 20 million members is enticing, critics say the site is more expensive than many other sites and doesn’t allow users to perform their own searches. EHarmony only matches up straight couples, but now offers a spin-off same-sex dating site, CompatiblePartners.net.

REVIEW2

Unless you’re brand new to the internet and don’t watch television, you’ve heard of eHarmony.  The reason why I feel 2010 will be a great year for eHarmony is because over the last couple of years, it has become one of, if not the, largest online dating site for singles who are seeking true love and more importantly, marriage.  That is where eHarmony excels. If you are tired of the “dating scene” and truly want to find your soulmate that you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with, eHarmony is the site for you.

Unlike other sites, eHarmony is different because it actually finds people who are compatible to you rather than you browsing thousands of photo profiles to find someone you find physically attractive.  For this reason, the signup process is extensive, but worth it if your goal is a long-term, serious relationship.  As with most sites, you can signup for free to get started.  Frankly, if you’re single, you need to at least have a free account on eHarmony.

*The numbers for users per month are based on research by ComScore.

Pasted from <http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/money/cost-comparison-internet-dating-sites-00000000028239/index.html>

referencing sites:

http://www.consumersearch.com/online-dating/reviews>

http://www.alternative-dating-sites.com/top-five-dating-sites-for-2010.html>

http://www.datingsitesreviews.com

|Pablo Neruda|

If You Forget Me
I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda

[written in 2006ishh]

Years ago I came to the conclusion that the meaning of life is to find your sole mate, right there with following your passions in life!

I’ve come to learn that the trick to that is to find someone, that even though they may not share the same passions as you.  They accept them and they make your passions their own.  Because in the end, all you want is to see that person as happy as possible.  Anyone that can’t accept your passions and your goals probably has no point for being in your life as much as they are.

I have always been told that EVERY GOOD THING COMES FROM HARD WORK.  Which I couldn’t agree more!  But how much work are you willing to put in? And most important, are they matching your efforts?
And if their not, then it will never work… no matter how hard you try!

“Vision is not seeing things as they are, but as they will be”.

I’ve learned  no matter how experienced you are, there will always be different problems that come along.  If you dont have patience and the willingness to forgive. Then you’re headed for disaster before any problems occur. You may as well save some time and enjoy the joys of single life.  Although if you’re afraid of being alone, you’ll just jump into another relationship only to find that the same outcome is going to happen until you change yourself.  Which brings me to the “word of the day” – patience (colbert report)

I would definitely have to say patience would be the one thing that makes a relationship work.  (Trust Is always 1 , and “compromise” not far behind).

If you don’t have the patience… then you’ll probably never be able to compromise when problems come along.  I mean who really wants to deal with problems, but they happen to everyone!   And in the end, its how you deal with them that makes you who you are.  If you don’t expect problems to come then you should definitely try to lay low from the dating scene for a while and stick to blockbuster nights. I mean even the characters in the movie “notebook” had their share. And thats every girls favorite flick!

Like most things in life, people learn from trial and error and relationships is one of them.

So is it better to have loved and lost or to never have loved at all?

Both pretty much suck a$$ really…but you definitely learn a lot from loving and lost, then never at all.
So whenever something doesnt work out, just take it as a lesson learned and consider yourself that much closer to what your really looking for.

Allright so we all know that guys have “issues” with commitment, but whats the cause of this? I’ve always wondered why this is such a known issue, but yet there is never any real answer’s. Is it how we were raised? is it in the media? Is “love” over rated? Is it because we really are like cavemen tendency? Is it a mental health issue? Is it the economy? haha ok that last one is a far stretch.
So Today i was on a quest to figure this out. I’m curious if my “fear” is only because I haven’t meet that perfect girl yet, or is it just cause I’m a big wuss like the rest of the guys? Personally I have never looked back at a girlfriend and said she was a B@$%. I have been lucky to date girls that were all pretty “normal” for the most part.
The one thing i have learned is that when I get comfortable, I’ve been known to test my limits. Which really goes the same for the old school days sitting in class. Like the saying goes ” give and inch and they’ll take 2″ right.
I mean who actually goes 50mph in a 50mph lane these days (esp in Chicago)?

So I started my research with wiki and looked up “commitment” and here is the summary.

“Personal commitment is an essential part of a life stance. A life stance is an acception of one or more objects as being of ultimate importance, the personal commitments and presuppositions of this and the theory and practice of working it out in living.”

Ok so that really doesnt explain much of anything so to google i went and here it is :

“We’ve been burned before
When we’ve been divorced and run through the wringer of the female-biased court system, many of us are reluctant (read “terrified”) to risk a second commitment. Nowadays, we aren’t exactly chomping at the bit to sign a contract legally allowing a woman to clean us out financially. Successful achievers — those of us who have built companies and high-powered careers from the ground up — are especially afraid of being forced to hand over all the fruits of our hard labor to a greedy female and may make the decision never to get involved in a serious relationship again.

The emotional baggage
Many women look at marriage through Cinderella eyes — for them, putting a ring on their fingers means that we will magically solve all their problems, from childhood issues with their fathers to huge shopping debts incurred on credit cards. Women often submerge their true personalities and agendas until the knot is tied — but when the truth comes out and the we find ourselves legally bound to a greedy, nagging bitch, it’s too late.

Lack of compromise
Commitment implies the ability to compromise — ideally a marriage should be a 50/50 partnership in which each half contributes and shares equally. But to a woman, “compromise” often means “do it my way or you’re cut off from sex.” So we are forced into surrendering to this sexual blackmail if we want to get any sex at all, and the result is a terrible loss of male power.

Loss of free time
Serious relationships suck up an enormous amount of time and energy — they can entirely take over our lives. The pressure is always on to do something, be it wine and dine her, interact with her family, remember her birthday, or pick her up from work. For some of us, all the bother just isn’t worth the effort.

Not ready for it
These days, there are fewer societal pressures to marry and we can weigh our options instead of just jumping directly from school into marriage. We can afford to wait for that perfect woman while we concentrate on getting our careers off the ground, save to buy a house, or actively play the field.

Can’t trust a woman
We learn pretty fast that many women can’t be trusted — they’re always looking to upgrade, to latch onto a man with more money, more status and more stuff to sex-ploit. Commitment to a relationship means putting your heart on the line, and none of us want a sharp stiletto heel spiking us in the back as our ex-girlfriend scrambles over us to get to the next guy.

She applies pressure
For a lot of women, commitment is the finish line for their adult lives. They want to get married and they want to do so now . So they exert increasing pressure on us to settle down — pressure that can cause us to pack up and leave. “

So after reading this, I am still not 100% happy with these answer’s. I mean all-in-all you can relate most of these to the fact that the other person just isn’t the right fit for you.  In that case are my standards to high ? I mean besides my faults (which I’m sure are many) I would like to think I’m a decent catch. I mean… It could be worse really.  I shower daily, I can wipe my own A$$ (big daddy).   Ok no I got nothin…

In my eye’s I feel the media is a big part of things. Considering the only thing you see and hear is the money, the fame and the sex. I mean you never hear the details of love stories. Its not like there isnt any! My grandparent have been together for 55+ years.  The one thing I always ask couples that have been together for eternity is “where’d you meet?” and I can usually pull out a a pretty decent love story.  The one thing you never hear about (goes for most of lifes efforts) is the hard times one had to go through to where they are.  Relationship seem to be a lot like kids in that instance. They look so cute sitting there but then when their yours, you dont realize how much work actually goes into making it work.

The one thing i noticed on the above list is compromise and how its a big part of where the work and effort comes in.  I have dated a couple girls in the past that were so dam stubborn and had NO IDEA what this word even means (which is sad because this girl was a hottie).

All-in-all I think when it comes down to it, people change mentally, physically and financially through out their life. Especially in the 20 – 30 age bracket.  In that time your life is a roller coaster ride full of ups and downs already.  Which goes the same for a relationship no matter what your age is.

If  at any point for what ever reason, you loose one of my 5 fundamentals to a good relationship (trust, communication, love, laughter, passion).  Sometimes you have to do what ever you can in order to get your partner back by your side  to experience the rest of the roller coaster ride. If you loose any one of these, you have to expect a lot of work to get things balanced again and know that there is a reason for everything.  Some things may break a couple down to where they feel its just a dead weight and not worth the effort. Some things build you up and make life’s HIGH’s  that much greater. Because in the end is it really worth doing if you cant share it with someone? Like one of my favorite quotes says.

Smooth roads never make good drivers.
Smooth sea never makes good sailors.
Clear skies never make good pilots.
Problem free life never makes a strong person.
Be strong enough to accept the challenges of life.
Don’t ask…’Why me?’.
Instead say, ‘Try me!
-Unkown

If you’re never putting in work on the relationship and walkin out (physically/mentally) at the first sign of problems. Then youre not really making an efort for the common goal you both once had.

”If you always do what you have always done, than you will always get what you have always got.”

I can now say “perfection” is most definitely what you make of it. I think we all (mainly us guys) need to realize it may not be smooth roads, sea and clear sky’s. Although If your lucky enough to find someone you have the 5 fundamentals with. Then man up and accept the challenge of making a good thing even better with a bit of work. Even if it means sacrificing less work,  fame, money and anything else your chasing down.

Or at least “never go to bed angry” and always be able walk away and say you tried your best to turn it around.

Johnny Romano

References: http://www.askmen.com, http://www.wiki.com